I, in an earlier post, questioned whether revenge is learned. Is not being able to forgive and wanting others to suffer for the hurt imposed upon another a learned behavior? Has society taught us that that is an acceptable response to being wronged? I thought it was very enlightening when Mr. Wiesel and the others who were freed from the camps did not immediately or later did not call for revenge for the travesties they had undergone.
I have wrestled with the topic of forgiveness for the last few weeks and I have drawn the following conclusions: Forgiveness is process, a process where one shows with their actions that they are remorseful for their trespasses.
(1)Acknowledging the wrong; (2) requesting forgiveness; (3) proving through your actions that you deserve the forgiveness your request.
I believe the above process above can be non-verbal, as in the case of Dr. French’s father. The relationship Dr. French had with his father after his reconciliation and remarriage was a testament to his request for forgiveness from his family. He could have just asked for it, but instead he earned it. As in the case of apartheid, the trespassers were asked to admit their wrongs in a verbal way, I feel it all depends on the situation. Some people spend their entire lives atoning for their past.
Forgiveness for the trespassed is a process of learning the lessons and moving past the hurt however that is possible. Doing whatever is possible not to let negativity consume the future.
As I read "Night" by Elie Wiesel I was so moved by the accounts of his experience. I was enlightened by the lack of negative emotion in the retelling of his life in the camps. He told the story with such a pure and straightforward tone. He described the evil that his people encountered always with hope in his voice. I wondered how his voice could stay so stable when my heart was breaking for them with every word.
Often when reading I try to put myself in the role of the narrarator, but in this case I could not. I felt as if I was helplessly viewing his torment from a helpless distance. I found myself upset with the towns-people for not listening to Moishe the Beadle, for not being more horrified when the foreign Jews were expelled from Sighet. As an African American I thought about the slave ships as he described the scene of the train rides and I wondered how so many could be treated so badly, with such disregard could not, like Mrs. Schachter, go mad.
But I was most moved by a statement made at the end of the book. After all that those in the camps had suffered. That when they were free:
"Our first act as free men was to throw ourselves onto the provisions. That's all we thought about. No thought of revenge or of parents. Only of bread. And even when we were no longer hungry, not one of us thought of revenge. The next day, a few of the young me ran into Weimar to bring back some potatoes and clothes -and to sleep with girls. But still no trace of revenge."
I saw this same reaction in "No Future Without Forgiveness" by Desmond Tutu when apartheid was finally defeated. How calm and forgiving the crowds were during and after the elections.
The terms of servant-leadership, restorative justice, and forgiveness depend on one another, they are all interdependent but not interchangeable. To be a Servant Leader one must believe that justice must be restorative, and must have the capacity to forgive those who trespass against others. Being a servant to those you serve is paramount to evolving into a servant leader. Restorative justice requires the capacity for forgiveness on levels only those who choose to serve their fellow man can embrace.
The ability to forgive others is a gift that must be cultivated deep in one’s heart. It is a choice that takes time and practice to implement wholly. Restorative justice cannot be truly implemented without understanding a forgiveness of the trespass, its participants, and its roots.
I certainly believe that one needs to be humble in order to be a servant-leader, but I think that is but a single element in a plethora of attributes that is required. In “Insights on Leadership”, Robert K. Greenleaf states, “… the care taken by the servant first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served.” Being a leader that empowers, encourages, and develops others is at the heart of servant-leadership. Moving from a system where the participants are required to climb upon and defeat one another to improve their status has proven over time not to fulfill the participants on the job or off.
During a true servant-leadership journey we are bound to make good friends. Some that will remain with us for years to come and others who only require our presence for a season.
A few of the defining elements of being a servant leader are morality, truthfulness, and choosing to be a healer of the people you serve. One who chooses to become a servant leader takes on the responsibility of those they serve. A person must be a protector of others spirits, leading a life that displays to others that morality is ever-present. Leading a life that makes whole those who have been hurt as well as the trespassers, understanding that they to have been hurt. This is an understanding that the need is to heal all parties including the community.
My annotative question is:
How can one implement a leadership style in their department based on servant-leadership principals in a system that is hierarchical in nature? How can you get others to stop basing their careers on “climbing over others” and focus on “connecting with others?”
