In the past few weeks I have been dealing with a very troubling situtation in my small business. I am a Web Master by day for the college, and in the evenings and on the weekends I am the Web Designer for my small business owned by me and my husband. I am in a very dark place emotionally with a client that refuses to pay his bill after hours of work building his Web site; I am trying to let my education and growth as a servant leader guide me. Prior to pursuance of this degree my rationing and actions to the dispute I find myself in would have been swift and harsh. I find myself these days second guessing most of my initial reactions, I am becoming a softer gentler Shere. The problem is the world and the people in it hearts are as hard as ever.
Tonight I am particularly struggling on what my next steps should be, not just next steps, but right steps. I have been terribly preoccupied and it is showing in my demeanor and in some ways my health. Is this transformation of transcendence supposed to be so painful?
I am reading Dr.Ferch's SERVANT-LEADERSHIP AND THE INTERIOR OF THE LEADER: Facing violence with courage and forgiveness PART 2 and gaining such comfort and clarity. I want to lash out at being treated unfairly, beating myself up for seemly not acting with guts, and second guessing this rising above those who trespass against me. The words that are comforting most are about achieving a balance. I guess because I feel so unbalanced right now. Ferch states, "This balance of personal autonomy and connection to others is a vital aspect of their social leadership" (pg. 11).
Personal autonomy is what I am missing. I am focusing on how I am perceived, how I am being cheated, the pain I am in and have lost me in the process. How do I center myself? How do I move pass the personal pain to allow for the growth I know is needed? How can I balance my individual self worth while being mistreated by others, how can I continue to honor others while I am in such pain? I know that this is not an advice column, but I am trying so hard to grow in a positive direction, I am trying to have what Ferch calls "a personal, active understanding of love and power".
I want to arrive on the other side of this controversy with a servant-leadership testimony while not acting harshly to this client who is obviously taking advantage of me. I have horrible thoughts of blog bashing and other retributive things, but I read further and Ferch says, "To frame the person we disagree with in a dark light was to King a poison, something he intentionally fought against. I really feel stuck in a spiritual rut and I don't know if I currently possess the tools to pull my self through.
The most beautiful sentence in this paper to me is "...We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of love into the veins of our civilization" (pg.13) I take that to heart, and I believe goodness starts with me, but I am at a lost as to how to move through love to a resolution to my problem. Any Advice?
ThePaper I am refferring to in this post is:
SERVANT-LEADERSHIP AND THE INTERIOR OF THE LEADER:Facing violence with courage and forgiveness, PART 2, Shann R. Ferch, Gonzaga Univeristy
Tonight I am particularly struggling on what my next steps should be, not just next steps, but right steps. I have been terribly preoccupied and it is showing in my demeanor and in some ways my health. Is this transformation of transcendence supposed to be so painful?
I am reading Dr.Ferch's SERVANT-LEADERSHIP AND THE INTERIOR OF THE LEADER: Facing violence with courage and forgiveness PART 2 and gaining such comfort and clarity. I want to lash out at being treated unfairly, beating myself up for seemly not acting with guts, and second guessing this rising above those who trespass against me. The words that are comforting most are about achieving a balance. I guess because I feel so unbalanced right now. Ferch states, "This balance of personal autonomy and connection to others is a vital aspect of their social leadership" (pg. 11).
Personal autonomy is what I am missing. I am focusing on how I am perceived, how I am being cheated, the pain I am in and have lost me in the process. How do I center myself? How do I move pass the personal pain to allow for the growth I know is needed? How can I balance my individual self worth while being mistreated by others, how can I continue to honor others while I am in such pain? I know that this is not an advice column, but I am trying so hard to grow in a positive direction, I am trying to have what Ferch calls "a personal, active understanding of love and power".
I want to arrive on the other side of this controversy with a servant-leadership testimony while not acting harshly to this client who is obviously taking advantage of me. I have horrible thoughts of blog bashing and other retributive things, but I read further and Ferch says, "To frame the person we disagree with in a dark light was to King a poison, something he intentionally fought against. I really feel stuck in a spiritual rut and I don't know if I currently possess the tools to pull my self through.
The most beautiful sentence in this paper to me is "...We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of love into the veins of our civilization" (pg.13) I take that to heart, and I believe goodness starts with me, but I am at a lost as to how to move through love to a resolution to my problem. Any Advice?
ThePaper I am refferring to in this post is:
SERVANT-LEADERSHIP AND THE INTERIOR OF THE LEADER:Facing violence with courage and forgiveness, PART 2, Shann R. Ferch, Gonzaga Univeristy
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